Magick seemed to come easy to me. Within the first six months of half hearted rituals and sigils i’d inherited a large sum of money from a great aunt i never knew existed and began receiving ‘channels’ from a series of entities culminating in a series of conversations with a being who called himself Thoth, later preferring Thosis (he didn’t want me to be mocked for claiming to be in communication with such a high ranking deity). Thosis was also fitting because TH=Thoth – IS= Isis, our magick was to combine Jill’s feminine energy with my own masculine polarity.

I got a self initiation manual and did the rituals, proscribed reading and indeed, everything my paper master told me for about 18 months, rarely missing a day. I collected side altars and fashioned wands, consecrated daggers, adorned myself in ‘magick’ rings, pouches and crystals and became, Saroth the Mage. I had intense visionary experiences, did my gematria like a good little kabbalist, filled notebooks with sigils, spells & strange alphabets. Jill and I started the page T.H.O.T.H. and in a year we had 1000 members. The magick was working but i was keeping a part of myself back, hiding my drug use from friends and family. I rarely did heroin anymore but realized i’d become addicted to what i’d viewed as a ‘chaser’ to the hard stuff. I began swallowing increasing amounts of cheap, fake, street valium (just as addictive but chemically patchy). The first time i tried to stop i managed about 3 weeks of intense suffering as the sea of forgetfulness was ripped from the landscape of hungry receptors in my brain. I smoked a powerful joint of skunk one night and had what can only be described as an ‘episode’. I started going over all the shitty things i’d done in my life, every lie, every treacherous deed, every person i’d hurt with my arrogance and vanity, the girls i’d cheated on, worse, things going way back to childhood. The voice in my head became externalized and demonic, harsh and mocking. it echoed around my high ceilinged room. I was so disassociated and strung out i was fragmenting and part of me was swallowing the other like the crocodile Sobek. My heart had been weighed against the feather of Ma’at and fallen horribly short! No banishing ritual could help me now, i was too weak to do anything but listen to my demon as he walked me through every burning shame and hidden fear… I eventually just pulled the quilt over my head until the rage died down…

What is T.H.O.T.H.?



T.H.O.T.H. is a multi-disclipinary network of free magicians, light-workers and psychonauts.
We are largely self initiated and unaffiliated and ask no-one for permission!
We are a revolutionary movement. We acknowledge and encourage the lone wolves, the upstarts… the individuals, who dare to rebel against the very idea of ‘One Path’. We refuse no-one who shows an earnest desire to evolve. To explore with us, the myriad ‘spiritual’ practices and techniques from ALL systems. Experimenting and practicing, keeping what works and discarding the rest…
We respect all systems but are bound by none!
We dedicate ourselves to ‘Service to Others’ and our expressions of the ‘Ineffable’ are joyful works of art, literature… For us, one original thought is worth a million lazy memes. Creativity allows us to tear away the veil, revealing the naked beauty of Transcendence! We encourage our members to hurl themselves across the Abyss, for ‘fear is failure’ when it comes to finding the God & Goddess within.
We despise religion and expose it as just another control system. Throw away your televisions forever!
Magick is indeed for everyone, too long the reserve of dilettantes in silly robes, how you find the inner multiverse is your business, we view secret societies as corrupt and increasingly irrelevant. We seek to establish a Magickal ‘free republic’, a safe, troll free environment where we learn not from yellowing, dusty grimoires or tired ideology but from your peers, the group and YOUR OWN Higher Self!
We have no ‘Holy Books’, no dogmas, no immutable beliefs.
We are T.H.O.T.H.! We encourage refugees from the slavery of the Demiurge! We are sworn to establish a glorious ‘Network of Light’ stretching across the globe. We have members from every continent.
Our freedom is your freedom… from the Americas to Africa, Europe to Asia. We are spreading our message of personal sovereignty and responsibility…
We encourage each and every member to find your own magnificent, personal Divinity!